Chapter 46 - Gravity
By Cille
Scheris arrived in the infirmary a little bit later on her second morning there. She had done a lot of crying the previous night, after Cougar finally broke the news to her about Urizane. But she had to put on a brave face to tend to the patients. She had always been a nurturing type, and it made her feel better to know that she could help others who needed her.
Her first stop was to check in on Elizabeth and Spike, who had been seriously injured the previous day and were now resting in adjacent beds.
Elizabeth was awake and looking kind of lethargic, but she brightened when she saw Scheris.
"Oh good, you're awake," Scheris greeted her. "How do you feel?"
"I've been worse. Just got the wind knocked out of me, is all," Elizabeth answered assertively. "Just tell me the other guy ended up in worse shape."
Scheris wasn't sure whom she meant. "The other guy?"
"Yeah, that asshole in the giant robot."
Scheris felt a twinge in her chest. "He's... gone," she said quietly.
Elizabeth was relieved. "Thank heavens," she said, closing her eyes. "I would have liked to blow him away myself, but kudos to whoever did it."
Scheris nodded, not having the heart to tell her what had happened and trying not to think of Urizane.
Elizabeth opened her eyes suddenly. "What about Hikki? Did he get out of there? Is he safe?"
"He's safe," Scheris reassured her. "He came back last night. He was banged up, but he'll be okay."
"Hallelujah," Elizabeth said, relaxing again.
Scheris turned her attention to Spike, who was still asleep.
"I don't think he's come around yet," Elizabeth said with some concern in her voice. "I've been hoping you'll have some good news for me when you look at him."
"His injuries were quite severe, especially internally," Scheris said. "He must have been hit pretty hard."
"Yeah..." Elizabeth said softly.
"I think Kaia was able to do a lot for him with her chi, but it'll still take time for him to heal. Just keep your fingers crossed that he'll pull through."
Elizabeth sighed disconsolately. "That's about all I can do, huh?"
Scheris turned back to look at Elizabeth. It might have been because of her own heightened sensitivity, but she almost thought she saw a tear forming in the corner of Elizabeth's eye.
"Is something wrong?" Scheris asked.
Elizabeth looked evasive. "Well... it's just... I'm alive right now because he threw himself in front of me. He took the hit that would have killed me."
Scheris looked at Spike sympathetically and put her hand on his hand. "He wanted to protect you that badly. You must mean a lot to him."
Elizabeth furrowed her brows. "I don't know... I mean I only talked to him a few times. Mostly about guns and how I could probably kick his ass."
Scheris smiled. Then she placed her hands on Spike's chest and stomach and closed her eyes. Imperceptibly, a gentle pastel aura began floating above Spike's body. After a few seconds Scheris opened her eyes and took a sharp breath in.
"What did you do?" Elizabeth asked.
"Gave him a little of my strength," Scheris answered, looking a little more fatigued than she had been but still in good spirits. "Reinforced his internal organs a little."
"Wow, that's a neat trick," Elizabeth said, impressed.
Scheris smiled appreciatively. "Is there anything I can do for you?"
"I'll be fine," Elizabeth said. "Just... take care of him, okay? I need him to wake up so I can say thanks."
Scheris nodded empathetically. "I'll do whatever I can. You just keep resting and sending him your good thoughts."
Elizabeth nodded. "Yeah."
As Scheris left their room, she felt a little more hopeful. As long as people still cared about each other, there would be bright spots amid the tragedy and loss.
**********
In Ozzal's hideout, she was rediscovering how nice it was to have a sidekick again. It had been far too long since she'd had Dewey to listen to her tirades and fetch her snacks. Makina wasn't exactly friendly, but she quickly found just the right balance of attentiveness and deference. She stood silently behind Ozzal while the Head Governor was working, and quickly snapped to attention whenever she needed something. She seemed interested in whatever Ozzal felt like talking about, whether it was military maneuvers or ranting about the rebels or gloating about predicting the final choice on The Bachelor. And while having a mindless yes-man (or woman) just would have annoyed Ozzal, Makina found ways to make suggestions and even disagree with her respectfully and without pissing her off.
It also made Ozzal smirk inwardly when underlings would come in to speak with her, and would spend the entire time looking nervously over her shoulder at the imposing soldier behind her. These interviews seemed to go much more efficiently since Makina had arrived, and Ozzal usually got what she wanted faster too.
At the moment she had Rakshata on the comm monitor, and Rakshata was not happy.
"So I spend months designing you state-of-the-art Knightmare frames, pour years of my own research into them, and in less than two days you manage to smash them all?" Rakshata said, her voice dripping with irritation.
"Your mechs did exactly what I wanted them to do, Rakshata," Ozzal said pleasantly. "I don't see why you're so mad. You should be quite pleased with your work."
"My work is unassailable," Rakshata retorted. "I just wish you'd treat it with more respect."
"Well, too late for that now," Ozzal said with mock regret. "You'll just have to come up with some new brilliant invention for me to respect."
"I hope you're not expecting any more Knightmares," Rakshata said. "Those things don't just magically appear overnight."
"I was thinking more along the lines of bunker-infiltrating super hax spy equipment," Ozzal mused. "Something, say... that will find a door hidden in the middle of a forest."
"Well... we'll see," Rakshata said languidly, leaning back on her couch. "I've been working so hard on Knightmare frames, I might need a rest before I get started on something new."
Ozzal's eyebrow twitched. "I trust you'll be quite energized when you wake up from your nap."
Rakshata just shrugged dismissively, and then waved a hand toward someone off-camera. Abruptly Amy's gigantic head descended upside-down from the top of the screen, and she called out "HI OZZY!" before the screen went dark.
Ozzal leaned back in her cushy chair and rubbed her temples.
"Good gawd, do we have any booze here?" she asked, sounding exasperated.
"Will a scotch on the rocks do, madam?" Makina asked.
"Yeah, sure. And bring me some Bugles too. I've been jonesing for some of those."
"Original or extra spicy crispy?" Makina inquired.
Ozzal looked thoughtful, and then smiled devilishly. "Extra spicy crispy," she said roguishly.
"Very good, madam." Makina went to the tray table she'd had outfitted earlier and picked out a bag of the requested snacks. While she poured them into a bowl and prepared the drink, Ozzal went back to her surveillance monitors.
"Now, if I were a door, where would I be..." she pondered. "It can't be that hard to find, it's got to be big enough to get all of their equipment out."
"I'm sure you've already considered that they may have more than one entrance to the bunker," Makina said. "If they have smaller secondary doors, they may be less heavily guarded and camouflaged than the main door. Perhaps you'd have better results if you looked for the less obvious targets."
Ozzal clasped her hands in front of her face Gendo-style and mulled this over as Makina brought her the refreshments and dutifully stood waiting by her side. "You know, you might have something there," Ozzal said, taking the bowl and glass. She took a swig of the scotch and let out a satisfied "ahhhhh."
With a renewed purpose and delightfully crunchy snacks to munch on, she got back to work.
**********
Matrix had snuck off from the mech workshop to the room where the equipment and machine parts that had been salvaged from the battlefield were stashed. It was like a candy shop for him, although he still missed the toys he'd had back at his old lab.
As he was merrily rooting through the piles of assorted scrap, he didn't even hear Mustang coming in and watching him.
"So this is where you go when you don't feel like working anymore," Mustang remarked behind him.
Matrix jolted up and whirled around, clutching a machine part like he'd been caught shoplifting.
"Just, uh, looking for some spare parts for mechs. Those repairs, you know," Matrix said, trying to sound nonchalant.
"Yeah, sure," Mustang replied. "Well don't let me interrupt you. I just wanted to tell you, I spoke with Angel last night."
"Oh did you? That sounds nice," Matrix said patronizingly.
Mustang narrowed his eyes. "I had to make sure there wasn't anything wrong with her after being in your hands."
Matrix made a slightly annoyed face, and then went to put the machine part in his box of stuff to keep. "And how did my work stack up to your exacting standards, General?"
Mustang watched him for a moment before answering. "She seems to be in fine shape," he admitted. "Thankfully... and luckily for you."
Matrix rolled his eyes. "Roy... may I call you Roy? Let's be honest here. Do you really think I'd go out of my way to hurt Angel?"
"If we're being honest, I have no reason to trust you with her knowing what's happened between you before."
"Yeah, okay, we all know about that, but things are different now. And I don't just mean me and Angel. The fact is, I like it here. And I'd have to be a pretty damn big idiot to do anything that would get me kicked out of here. So you can play Big Brother on me all you want, you're not going to catch me screwing up."
"Right, of course, you've got to play the perfect little choirboy so people will forget what kind of person you actually are."
Matrix shot him a dirty look. "Whatever kind of person I am, I've got nothing to hide from you. Or Angel, or anybody else. If you don't like me, that's your own problem, and if you want I can find you a tentacle so you can shove it up your -"
Matrix realized he'd probably gone too far when Mustang grabbed him by the shirt and shoved him against a wall. If he was nervous, he tried hard not to show it. "Hey man, we're on the same side now, remember? Would you really beat up an ally just to feel tough?"
"If you don't want to find out, you'd better shut that smart mouth of yours," Mustang snarled.
"Gee, I guess that shows what kind of person you really are," Matrix taunted. "I wonder what Angel would think if she knew you were such a bully?"
"You'd love that, wouldn't you. Make me look bad so you can ride in and sweep her off her feet."
"Hey, that's not a bad... wait..." Matrix paused, having a revelation. Mustang held back, eyeing him suspiciously. "That's what all of this is really about? You actually think I'm trying to get Angel back?"
"I never said you were 'trying' anything," Mustang snapped. "But don't think I'm so naive that I can't see the writing on the wall."
"Are you really that paranoid? You think she'd ever want to get with me again? You do know what I did to her, right?"
"Yes, and I know that being in the midst of war can blow a person's entire past away. Who knows who might be out there with another pipe bomb?"
Matrix looked at him like he was crazy. "Man, are you sure you're feeling all right? I mean in the head?"
"Shut up! Don't even try to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about!" Mustang retorted. "I'm tired of having my women taken away from me!"
"Your woman? I'm sorry, when I examined Angel I didn't see a tag on her that said 'Property of Roy Mustang.'"
"'Examined' her? Don't you dare try to throw it in my face that you've seen more of her than I have."
Matrix sighed angrily. "Does everything have to be a pissing contest with you? Trust me, that's not something you want to get into with me," he said, with a slightly cocky grin.
Mustang narrowed his eyes. "Ah yes, that cyberwang you're so proud of. You must feel like a real man with that thing. In fact... I wonder how much of a man you'd be without it."
While Matrix was still processing what that might mean, Mustang pinned him to the wall with one hand. With the other, he reached down - into Matrix's pants.
Matrix's eyes widened, but before anyone could say "yaoi moment," they heard a distinct metallic snap and some electronic buzzing. Matrix's body involuntarily convulsed as the electric shocks worked their way through his system. Then, slightly dazed, he watched as Mustang's hand came back out of his pants - holding the disengaged cybernetic member.
"Wha... what did you... what in hell did you do?!" Matrix murmured, slowly coming back around.
Mustang held up the metallic phallus with an air of smug victory. "Well then, neutering you wasn't that hard, was it? Your 'manhood' must not have been that strong to begin with."
"Well actually neutering would involve removing the -" Matrix started to explain, until he was interrupted by an indignant female voice.
"WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE."
Both men froze, and then as if in one very slow motion Mustang turned around and Matrix leaned to one side to peer around him, both looking very very guilty.
What they saw made the blood freeze even harder in both their veins. It was Angel, supporting herself with a crutch, looking at them like she couldn't believe what she was seeing and wanted to kill them both.
She just looked back and forth from one to the other, to the shiny metal rod that Mustang was still sheepishly holding up, shaking her head like what is this I can't even.
"Okay seriously?" she finally sputtered. "I know you two have been idiots about each other for weeks now, but seriously? This is what it's come to?"
"It's not what it looks like!" Mustang tried to protest feebly.
"Oh really? I've cut off his dick before too. I think I know what it looks like," Angel said curtly.
"Well actually that was a different dick," Matrix pointed out to Mustang as an aside.
"SHUT UP! Just -" Angel was too exasperated to even continue. She held up one hand in irritation and then just facepalmed with it. "Matrix, Lloyd wants you back in the workshop," she continued with forced calm. "Roy, just... give Matrix back his wang and go... I don't care, find something useful to do that doesn't involve acting like a jealous little boy."
"Angel, it's not like that -" Mustang began earnestly, but he was interrupted by Matrix yoinking the cybernetic tube out of his hand.
"You heard the lady," Matrix said cavalierly as he sailed past him. He looked less confident as he passed Angel, who glared at him until he made it out the door.
"Angel..." Mustang tried again. Angel just looked at him, shook her head, and left the room.
For a few moments Mustang just stood there looking defeated, wondering how things could have gone so wrong. Then his built-up frustration finally bubbled over, and he took it out on Matrix's box of spare parts.
**********
While the action on the battlefield was still going strong, there was also plenty of activity from the support staff within the bunker.
In the cafeteria, April was in full lunchlady costume cheerily greeting the hungry fighters who lined up for their midday meals. Starry brought them drink refills and cleaned up the tables as they left. And in the kitchen, GAR Streeter Sanji was hard at work transforming the Syndicate's rations into a gourmet feast.
In the back, in much less glamorous roles, Cowboy was washing dishes and handing them to Spice to dry.
"I don't know why I have to be stuck in here washing dishes," Spice was grousing as Starry came back with a new batch of dirty plates. "I can kick as much ass as anybody else, so why won't they let me out there to fight?"
"Well there was that one time you turned into a psycho hosebeast and tried to kill a bunch of our own people," Cowboy pointed out. "Maybe they're afraid something will set you off again and you'll lose control."
"That was a long time ago," Spice pouted. "I even apologized to Cille, even though it wasn't even really my fault. But I feel like ever since then everyone has totally forgotten I'm even here. I need to vent my spleen and actually do something."
"Don't forget that what we're doing here is still important," Starry said, stacking up the clean dishes. "These guys can't fight without good food in their stomachs. And I think the best thing we can do is encourage them to do their best. Even a bright smile can make a big difference."
"Is this girl for real, or did she walk out of a motivational poster?" Spice whispered to Cowboy.
"I mean it," Starry said with a laugh. "You can see how their mood changes, they come in grouchy and tired and leave ready to get back to the fight. I've even heard some of them talking about the nice lunchlady and how inspired she made them feel."
"Lunchlady? You mean April?" Cowboy asked.
"Mm-hmm," Starry answered.
"I wonder how many of them know April's actually a guy," Spice chuckled.
Starry looked confused. "You mean... April's a..."
Spice and Cowboy exchanged looks.
"Well anyway, you couldn't pay me enough money to go out there," Cowboy continued. "Have you seen what some of these guys look like coming back in? If washing dishes and being a delivery boy keeps me from getting my ass shot off, I have noooo problem with it."
"Well that's fine for you because you're a wuss," Spice said. "I'm still mad about my spam factory getting shut down. I've been waiting a long time to get back at Ozzal."
"Hey, I don't like Ozzal either, but that doesn't mean I'm going to run out there and be suicidal. It might sound crazy, but I agree with Starry. If we can help win the war with moral support, we're still winners."
"Jebus, now you're both motivational posters," Spice sighed. "Well fine, if washing dishes is going to win us this war, then I'm gonna kick these dishes' asses."
"That's the spirit," Starry laughed.
"Oi! Somebody get me another case of canned tuna!" Sanji called from the kitchen.
"Ooh, I'll go," Spice volunteered immediately, suddenly forgetting about her dedication to the dishes.
"Have fun guys!" she called as she sprinted out of the room, leaving Cowboy and Starry to deal with the rest of the mess.
**********
Angel found Matrix sitting alone on the floor in a corner of the workshop surrounded by scattered papers, tools, and spare machine parts. He was holding his detached cyberwang in his hands, looking at it forlornly as if it were a small wounded animal that he wanted to save but wasn't sure how.
He looked up quickly when he heard her approaching, about to hide the metallic shaft and pretend like he was actually working, but when he saw who it was he just kind of resigned himself to the inevitable awkwardness and settled back into his gloom.
Angel eyed him silently as she gingerly eased herself onto a storage box and propped the crutch up next to her. Seeing him looking so sad, she almost felt sorry for him despite her ongoing irritation with him.
"Can you fix it?" she asked simply.
He shrugged morosely. "It's not totally busted, but..." He turned it over in his hands. "The connection internals are all ripped out and the wiring's all mangled and it would have to be entirely recalibrated and reprogrammed. That's not to mention the bent frame and the damage to the casing."
"Uh-huh," she said. She watched him scrutinizing the thing for another few moments.
"So... can you fix it?"
He looked up at her, not sure why she should need to ask a question he had just answered, but then he realized what she was getting at.
"Well, yeah, eventually, I could fix anything," he replied. "If I were in my lab, and if I had my proper tools, and if I had the time to devote to it. I could probably even make some improvements while I was at it."
"But you can't do that here?"
He shrugged again. "The tools here are pretty rudimentary, if you can even find them in all this junk. I might be a brilliant scientist, but that doesn't mean I want to risk Macgyvering my manhood. Besides, we kinda have more important things to worry about these days. As long as we've got smashed mechs and injured people coming in here every day, my poor little Minimatrix will have to wait."
It was a noble thought, even if he was still clearly having a pity party.
"Is that gonna be a problem?" she asked.
This time he looked at her like he was not sure if trolling or very stupid.
She rolled her eyes. "I mean can you even pee without it?"
"Oh, well..." he began, and seemed to be deciding how much he wanted to say. "The apparatus itself is designed for higher-level functions, like... y'know, sex and lasers and stuff. When I installed it I kinda had the, uh, waste elimination rerouted to... uh..." He sensed that he was making the conversation even more uncomfortable, if that were even possible. "...It's complicated."
Angel sighed dejectedly. "Everything with you is complicated."
Matrix couldn't really argue with that, so he just kind of silently nodded. But then as the silence stretched on, he felt like he needed to clear the air.
"Okay I know you're mad at me and all, but I feel like I need to say something," he said. "I didn't come here with delusions of getting you back or something. I wasn't even sure you would ever talk to me again. So if I'm causing problems with your personal life, it's not on purpose. I mean if you've made up your mind that Roy Mustang is the man of your dreams that I could never be, don't let me get in your way."
She was a little blindsided that he'd bring up their love triangle so boldly. She certainly wasn't ready to have a big heart-to-heart with him about her conflicted feelings and stuff.
"All right, well I'm glad you're not expecting anything to happen," she said curtly. "And trust me, if I wanted Roy Mustang that badly, you're the last person I'd let get in my way."
"Okay then. I hope you're happy together."
"If I decide that's what I want, I'm sure we will be."
"Good."
"I know."
As soon as the words had come out of their mouths, they both knew they were being childish. But it was too late to take them back.
He sighed and turned his attention back to his cyberjunk. "So is Lloyd looking for me again or what? I'm sure you didn't come in here to hash over our personal issues."
She sighed too, a little bitterly. "I don't even know. I just... thought I'd see how you were doing, I guess." He didn't answer, so she had a moment to think about it. "If you need a reason, I guess I should thank you for patching me up. I heard you were the one who did it."
"Well I know I wouldn't have been your first choice, but it was either me or bleed to death, so I hope you can forgive me."
She rolled her eyes. "Well I did make Kira check me out when I found out who it was that operated on me. Had to make sure you hadn't sewn on any tentacles, you know."
Matrix made a mock thoughtful face. "Now why didn't I think of that?"
"I know, you missed your only chance," Angel snarked.
"Well at least you had a professional to fix my butcher job. Did he disinfect my cooties while he was at it?"
Angel's demeanor changed, and she decided she was done with catty banter. "Actually, he said it looked good," she said pointedly. "He said it seemed like you were really careful about it. He said I'd probably be walking a day or two sooner because it was done so cleanly."
Matrix was a little taken aback by her bluntness. He was also relieved and a little proud that someone had noticed the care he had taken with Angel, but he obviously wasn't going to say so. "Just doing my job," he replied, trying to sound matter-of-fact. "Not like it was obviously the only way I'd ever get your pants off or anything."
She looked at him studiously pretending to be very interested in his mechanical toy to avoid looking at her, and despite all the tension in the room, she suddenly had to smile. It was just like him to say something stupid like that. It reminded her of how he could turn anything sexual just to crack her up - or turn her on.
But she wasn't going to let him get away with too much. She was still technically pissed at him.
"Yeah well, don't say I never did anything nice for you."
She picked up her crutch and did the best sashaying away she could manage. Matrix watched until she was out of sight.
"...Complicated..." he mumbled.
**********
When Clarice finished fighting with her new ground unit for the day, she immediately headed to Samson's room to see how he was doing. As expected, she found Anne there sitting by her brother's bed.
What she didn't expect to find was another bed - with Hikki in it.
"I'm sorry, he made me do it!" Roxie apologized, looking up from Samson's chart when Clarice walked in. It was like she had been preparing for Clarice's reaction all day.
"What is even going on here?" Clarice asked, looking at Hikki. He was sitting up in bed and looked significantly perkier than the last time she had seen him.
"Ees eet not wonderful?" he said cheerfully. "I can stay weez Chu while we bose recover!"
Clarice looked skeptically at Roxie, who put her hands up defensively.
"Hey, if you had to listen to him, you would have caved too. He was wailing about being at death's door until we moved him in here."
"Being at death's door is one thing, but what does that have to do with moving him in here with Samson?" Clarice asked.
"We have shared ze same near-deass experience," Hikki claimed. "I know what he ees goeeng srough! Who better to be by hees side as he recovers? ...While you are out doing ozzer seengs, of course," he added quickly upon seeing her disapproving look.
"It is true that we're running short on space here," Roxie admitted. "There are so many people getting injured."
"So why does he even need to stay in bed? He wasn't hurt that badly," Clarice said.
"My foot, I cannot walk," Hikki said innocently, pointing to the lump under the blanket that must have been his bandaged ankle.
Clarice looked at Roxie, who just shrugged.
"Well great, our leader is an invalid suffering from dramallamaitis," Clarice said. "How do you expect to run the Syndicate from here?"
Hikki picked up a walkie-talkie from his bedside table. "Eef Lucille needs me, we use zees," he said. "Everyseeng ees worked out."
Clarice sighed, knowing that objecting to this arrangement would be way more work than it was worth. "Fine, but your responsibilities come first. And if you do anything inappropriate in here while nobody's around, I will kill you."
"Pfff, what kind of pervert would fap over an unconscious quasi love interest?" Hikki scoffed.
Clarice looked at Anne, not sure she should be hearing this.
"I'll make sure he doesn't misbehave," Anne offered cheerfully. "It's already been nice having him to talk to."
Clarice sighed again. At least somebody (besides Hikki) was getting something out of this whole deal. She also noticed that Ein the dog had taken up residence on Anne's lap, and was enjoying getting petted by his new friend.
Clarice remembered her actual purpose in coming here. "How is he?" she asked, moving closer to Samson's bedside.
"Still holding steady," Roxie answered. "His vitals are still on the weak side but they're improving. Otherwise... not much else to report today."
"Okay, I guess that's not too bad," Clarice said. She couldn't really be relieved until Samson woke up, but it could be worse.
"How are seengs out zere?" Hikki asked, looking more somber.
"About the same as ever," Clarice said. "Except with fewer mechs and more bodies piling up. Fortunately most of them aren't ours."
"We are makeeng progress reducing zeir numbers?" Hikki asked hopefully.
"Well, we're certainly doing a number on them," Clarice answered. "You should have seen Mustang a little while ago, he was on some kind of bender taking out whole platoons with his flames. But they just keep coming at us."
Hikki looked dismayed but nodded resolutely. "Eet ees as we expected. We weel just have to keep comeeng at zem."
"Yeah..." Clarice agreed wearily. "Hey, I'd better get myself cleaned up and then see when Mustang wants to have the meeting tonight. I'll try to come back later and say goodnight."
"Okay, but try not to stay up too late," Anne said. "You and Hikki both need your rest."
Clarice smiled at Anne's motherliness and started toward the door. "I'll try not to wake the boys up if they're both asleep."
She looked at Hikki, who gave her an appreciative nod. She nodded back and took one more look around the room. In a way she felt like an outsider looking in on a cozy home scene, with friends growing closer and even a nice dog for company. But she couldn't linger while there was still so much work to do.
**********
The night air lay dark and heavy over the quiet battlefield, as if the forest were finally getting some respite after the day's clashes. Here and there small woodland animals were even coming out to inspect their changing environment.
The tranquility was abruptly broken by two large men crashing out of a cluster of trees. Well... one large man, and one large zombie robot pirate.
"I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU THIS WAS WHERE IT WAS!" Kazuma yelled. "AND YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME AND NOW WE MISSED IT AGAIN!"
"It be yer own fault fer bustin' up me compass all those months ago!" Yemman retorted. "I told ye it'd be harder to find anythin' without it!"
"Your stupid compass doesn't explain why we've been wandering around for months with absolutely nothing to show for it! We'd be in Babblstan by now if we hadn't seen that news report about this war! And did you have any idea how frickin' big the Enbeforlocke Woods are? How many days have we been trampling around this place?"
"If'n ye don't like it, ye can jes' go back ta yer cozy little house an' ferget about adventurin'," Yemman said sullenly. "I been listenin' ta yer prattle long enough, if'n all ye can do is piss 'n' moan then ye can jes' bugger off."
"Hey, you know I'm no quitter. But if I don't find something to punch soon I'm going to explode. And all we've seen in this stupid forest are scorch marks and a few corpses. I swear if we totally missed out on this entire war, then I'll..."
The drasticness within Kazuma's soul finally boiled over, and he SHOCKING FIRST BULLETED the nearest tree. The tree fell over, revealing the surprised faces of a group of Ozzal's soldiers. They had set up camp for the night near this grove of trees and had been rudely awakened by the squabbling crewmates.
Kazuma and Yemman looked with similar surprise at the soldiers, and then with raised eyebrows at each other.
"Erm... who goes tharrr?" Yemman asked the soldiers, reckoning that this was the proper first step.
He was answered by the sound of several guns being cocked. One gruff soldier's voice said, "Don't move, rebel filth!"
Yemman and Kazuma looked at each other again. "So if these guys aren't with the rebels..." Kazuma began.
"...Yarrrr, then they must be with..." Yemman continued.
Broad smiles grew on both their faces. All of their previous quarrels forgotten, they gleefully set about beating up every last one of the soldiers in the encampment.
Having accomplished this and finally sated at least some of their thirst for action, they slumped over back-to-back and fell sound asleep, and the forest was quiet once more.
Chapter 46 author's notes:
Recurring characters:
Elizabeth Saurie St. Gaurdsmen - EdSpikeSesshyGirl
Hikki Follet - Kohikki
Kaia Namek - namek_kaia
Michelle Ozzal - Mike Lazzo
Amy - Amalgam
Professor M. Matrix - matrixman124
Angel Sarcasta - mgangel1124
April - LirpaYamEnujYluj
Starry Ozzal - starryjelly
Cowboy - CowboyCadenza
Spice Spamton - spiceweasel228
*Lucille "Cille" Compton - Cille
Clarice Rowe - QueenoftheDorks
Samson Monroe - MasterSamson
Anne Monroe - herself
Hikki Follet - Kohikki
Roxanne "Roxie" Goldsmith - anime_goddess05
Captain Yemman - myname
Scheris Adjani - s-CRY-ed
Straight Cougar - s-CRY-ed
*Urizane - s-CRY-ed
Spike Spiegel - Cowboy Bebop
*Jeremiah Gottwald - Code Geass (the asshole in the giant robot)
*Dewey Novak - Eureka seveN
Makina - Deadman Wonderland
Rakshata Chawla - Code Geass
Roy Mustang - Fullmetal Alchemist
*Lloyd Asplund - Code Geass
*Izuru Kira - Bleach
Ein - Cowboy Bebop
Kazuma - s-CRY-ed
New characters:
Sanji - One Piece
Scheris arrived in the infirmary a little bit later on her second morning there. She had done a lot of crying the previous night, after Cougar finally broke the news to her about Urizane. But she had to put on a brave face to tend to the patients. She had always been a nurturing type, and it made her feel better to know that she could help others who needed her.
Her first stop was to check in on Elizabeth and Spike, who had been seriously injured the previous day and were now resting in adjacent beds.
Elizabeth was awake and looking kind of lethargic, but she brightened when she saw Scheris.
"Oh good, you're awake," Scheris greeted her. "How do you feel?"
"I've been worse. Just got the wind knocked out of me, is all," Elizabeth answered assertively. "Just tell me the other guy ended up in worse shape."
Scheris wasn't sure whom she meant. "The other guy?"
"Yeah, that asshole in the giant robot."
Scheris felt a twinge in her chest. "He's... gone," she said quietly.
Elizabeth was relieved. "Thank heavens," she said, closing her eyes. "I would have liked to blow him away myself, but kudos to whoever did it."
Scheris nodded, not having the heart to tell her what had happened and trying not to think of Urizane.
Elizabeth opened her eyes suddenly. "What about Hikki? Did he get out of there? Is he safe?"
"He's safe," Scheris reassured her. "He came back last night. He was banged up, but he'll be okay."
"Hallelujah," Elizabeth said, relaxing again.
Scheris turned her attention to Spike, who was still asleep.
"I don't think he's come around yet," Elizabeth said with some concern in her voice. "I've been hoping you'll have some good news for me when you look at him."
"His injuries were quite severe, especially internally," Scheris said. "He must have been hit pretty hard."
"Yeah..." Elizabeth said softly.
"I think Kaia was able to do a lot for him with her chi, but it'll still take time for him to heal. Just keep your fingers crossed that he'll pull through."
Elizabeth sighed disconsolately. "That's about all I can do, huh?"
Scheris turned back to look at Elizabeth. It might have been because of her own heightened sensitivity, but she almost thought she saw a tear forming in the corner of Elizabeth's eye.
"Is something wrong?" Scheris asked.
Elizabeth looked evasive. "Well... it's just... I'm alive right now because he threw himself in front of me. He took the hit that would have killed me."
Scheris looked at Spike sympathetically and put her hand on his hand. "He wanted to protect you that badly. You must mean a lot to him."
Elizabeth furrowed her brows. "I don't know... I mean I only talked to him a few times. Mostly about guns and how I could probably kick his ass."
Scheris smiled. Then she placed her hands on Spike's chest and stomach and closed her eyes. Imperceptibly, a gentle pastel aura began floating above Spike's body. After a few seconds Scheris opened her eyes and took a sharp breath in.
"What did you do?" Elizabeth asked.
"Gave him a little of my strength," Scheris answered, looking a little more fatigued than she had been but still in good spirits. "Reinforced his internal organs a little."
"Wow, that's a neat trick," Elizabeth said, impressed.
Scheris smiled appreciatively. "Is there anything I can do for you?"
"I'll be fine," Elizabeth said. "Just... take care of him, okay? I need him to wake up so I can say thanks."
Scheris nodded empathetically. "I'll do whatever I can. You just keep resting and sending him your good thoughts."
Elizabeth nodded. "Yeah."
As Scheris left their room, she felt a little more hopeful. As long as people still cared about each other, there would be bright spots amid the tragedy and loss.
**********
In Ozzal's hideout, she was rediscovering how nice it was to have a sidekick again. It had been far too long since she'd had Dewey to listen to her tirades and fetch her snacks. Makina wasn't exactly friendly, but she quickly found just the right balance of attentiveness and deference. She stood silently behind Ozzal while the Head Governor was working, and quickly snapped to attention whenever she needed something. She seemed interested in whatever Ozzal felt like talking about, whether it was military maneuvers or ranting about the rebels or gloating about predicting the final choice on The Bachelor. And while having a mindless yes-man (or woman) just would have annoyed Ozzal, Makina found ways to make suggestions and even disagree with her respectfully and without pissing her off.
It also made Ozzal smirk inwardly when underlings would come in to speak with her, and would spend the entire time looking nervously over her shoulder at the imposing soldier behind her. These interviews seemed to go much more efficiently since Makina had arrived, and Ozzal usually got what she wanted faster too.
At the moment she had Rakshata on the comm monitor, and Rakshata was not happy.
"So I spend months designing you state-of-the-art Knightmare frames, pour years of my own research into them, and in less than two days you manage to smash them all?" Rakshata said, her voice dripping with irritation.
"Your mechs did exactly what I wanted them to do, Rakshata," Ozzal said pleasantly. "I don't see why you're so mad. You should be quite pleased with your work."
"My work is unassailable," Rakshata retorted. "I just wish you'd treat it with more respect."
"Well, too late for that now," Ozzal said with mock regret. "You'll just have to come up with some new brilliant invention for me to respect."
"I hope you're not expecting any more Knightmares," Rakshata said. "Those things don't just magically appear overnight."
"I was thinking more along the lines of bunker-infiltrating super hax spy equipment," Ozzal mused. "Something, say... that will find a door hidden in the middle of a forest."
"Well... we'll see," Rakshata said languidly, leaning back on her couch. "I've been working so hard on Knightmare frames, I might need a rest before I get started on something new."
Ozzal's eyebrow twitched. "I trust you'll be quite energized when you wake up from your nap."
Rakshata just shrugged dismissively, and then waved a hand toward someone off-camera. Abruptly Amy's gigantic head descended upside-down from the top of the screen, and she called out "HI OZZY!" before the screen went dark.
Ozzal leaned back in her cushy chair and rubbed her temples.
"Good gawd, do we have any booze here?" she asked, sounding exasperated.
"Will a scotch on the rocks do, madam?" Makina asked.
"Yeah, sure. And bring me some Bugles too. I've been jonesing for some of those."
"Original or extra spicy crispy?" Makina inquired.
Ozzal looked thoughtful, and then smiled devilishly. "Extra spicy crispy," she said roguishly.
"Very good, madam." Makina went to the tray table she'd had outfitted earlier and picked out a bag of the requested snacks. While she poured them into a bowl and prepared the drink, Ozzal went back to her surveillance monitors.
"Now, if I were a door, where would I be..." she pondered. "It can't be that hard to find, it's got to be big enough to get all of their equipment out."
"I'm sure you've already considered that they may have more than one entrance to the bunker," Makina said. "If they have smaller secondary doors, they may be less heavily guarded and camouflaged than the main door. Perhaps you'd have better results if you looked for the less obvious targets."
Ozzal clasped her hands in front of her face Gendo-style and mulled this over as Makina brought her the refreshments and dutifully stood waiting by her side. "You know, you might have something there," Ozzal said, taking the bowl and glass. She took a swig of the scotch and let out a satisfied "ahhhhh."
With a renewed purpose and delightfully crunchy snacks to munch on, she got back to work.
**********
Matrix had snuck off from the mech workshop to the room where the equipment and machine parts that had been salvaged from the battlefield were stashed. It was like a candy shop for him, although he still missed the toys he'd had back at his old lab.
As he was merrily rooting through the piles of assorted scrap, he didn't even hear Mustang coming in and watching him.
"So this is where you go when you don't feel like working anymore," Mustang remarked behind him.
Matrix jolted up and whirled around, clutching a machine part like he'd been caught shoplifting.
"Just, uh, looking for some spare parts for mechs. Those repairs, you know," Matrix said, trying to sound nonchalant.
"Yeah, sure," Mustang replied. "Well don't let me interrupt you. I just wanted to tell you, I spoke with Angel last night."
"Oh did you? That sounds nice," Matrix said patronizingly.
Mustang narrowed his eyes. "I had to make sure there wasn't anything wrong with her after being in your hands."
Matrix made a slightly annoyed face, and then went to put the machine part in his box of stuff to keep. "And how did my work stack up to your exacting standards, General?"
Mustang watched him for a moment before answering. "She seems to be in fine shape," he admitted. "Thankfully... and luckily for you."
Matrix rolled his eyes. "Roy... may I call you Roy? Let's be honest here. Do you really think I'd go out of my way to hurt Angel?"
"If we're being honest, I have no reason to trust you with her knowing what's happened between you before."
"Yeah, okay, we all know about that, but things are different now. And I don't just mean me and Angel. The fact is, I like it here. And I'd have to be a pretty damn big idiot to do anything that would get me kicked out of here. So you can play Big Brother on me all you want, you're not going to catch me screwing up."
"Right, of course, you've got to play the perfect little choirboy so people will forget what kind of person you actually are."
Matrix shot him a dirty look. "Whatever kind of person I am, I've got nothing to hide from you. Or Angel, or anybody else. If you don't like me, that's your own problem, and if you want I can find you a tentacle so you can shove it up your -"
Matrix realized he'd probably gone too far when Mustang grabbed him by the shirt and shoved him against a wall. If he was nervous, he tried hard not to show it. "Hey man, we're on the same side now, remember? Would you really beat up an ally just to feel tough?"
"If you don't want to find out, you'd better shut that smart mouth of yours," Mustang snarled.
"Gee, I guess that shows what kind of person you really are," Matrix taunted. "I wonder what Angel would think if she knew you were such a bully?"
"You'd love that, wouldn't you. Make me look bad so you can ride in and sweep her off her feet."
"Hey, that's not a bad... wait..." Matrix paused, having a revelation. Mustang held back, eyeing him suspiciously. "That's what all of this is really about? You actually think I'm trying to get Angel back?"
"I never said you were 'trying' anything," Mustang snapped. "But don't think I'm so naive that I can't see the writing on the wall."
"Are you really that paranoid? You think she'd ever want to get with me again? You do know what I did to her, right?"
"Yes, and I know that being in the midst of war can blow a person's entire past away. Who knows who might be out there with another pipe bomb?"
Matrix looked at him like he was crazy. "Man, are you sure you're feeling all right? I mean in the head?"
"Shut up! Don't even try to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about!" Mustang retorted. "I'm tired of having my women taken away from me!"
"Your woman? I'm sorry, when I examined Angel I didn't see a tag on her that said 'Property of Roy Mustang.'"
"'Examined' her? Don't you dare try to throw it in my face that you've seen more of her than I have."
Matrix sighed angrily. "Does everything have to be a pissing contest with you? Trust me, that's not something you want to get into with me," he said, with a slightly cocky grin.
Mustang narrowed his eyes. "Ah yes, that cyberwang you're so proud of. You must feel like a real man with that thing. In fact... I wonder how much of a man you'd be without it."
While Matrix was still processing what that might mean, Mustang pinned him to the wall with one hand. With the other, he reached down - into Matrix's pants.
Matrix's eyes widened, but before anyone could say "yaoi moment," they heard a distinct metallic snap and some electronic buzzing. Matrix's body involuntarily convulsed as the electric shocks worked their way through his system. Then, slightly dazed, he watched as Mustang's hand came back out of his pants - holding the disengaged cybernetic member.
"Wha... what did you... what in hell did you do?!" Matrix murmured, slowly coming back around.
Mustang held up the metallic phallus with an air of smug victory. "Well then, neutering you wasn't that hard, was it? Your 'manhood' must not have been that strong to begin with."
"Well actually neutering would involve removing the -" Matrix started to explain, until he was interrupted by an indignant female voice.
"WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE."
Both men froze, and then as if in one very slow motion Mustang turned around and Matrix leaned to one side to peer around him, both looking very very guilty.
What they saw made the blood freeze even harder in both their veins. It was Angel, supporting herself with a crutch, looking at them like she couldn't believe what she was seeing and wanted to kill them both.
She just looked back and forth from one to the other, to the shiny metal rod that Mustang was still sheepishly holding up, shaking her head like what is this I can't even.
"Okay seriously?" she finally sputtered. "I know you two have been idiots about each other for weeks now, but seriously? This is what it's come to?"
"It's not what it looks like!" Mustang tried to protest feebly.
"Oh really? I've cut off his dick before too. I think I know what it looks like," Angel said curtly.
"Well actually that was a different dick," Matrix pointed out to Mustang as an aside.
"SHUT UP! Just -" Angel was too exasperated to even continue. She held up one hand in irritation and then just facepalmed with it. "Matrix, Lloyd wants you back in the workshop," she continued with forced calm. "Roy, just... give Matrix back his wang and go... I don't care, find something useful to do that doesn't involve acting like a jealous little boy."
"Angel, it's not like that -" Mustang began earnestly, but he was interrupted by Matrix yoinking the cybernetic tube out of his hand.
"You heard the lady," Matrix said cavalierly as he sailed past him. He looked less confident as he passed Angel, who glared at him until he made it out the door.
"Angel..." Mustang tried again. Angel just looked at him, shook her head, and left the room.
For a few moments Mustang just stood there looking defeated, wondering how things could have gone so wrong. Then his built-up frustration finally bubbled over, and he took it out on Matrix's box of spare parts.
**********
While the action on the battlefield was still going strong, there was also plenty of activity from the support staff within the bunker.
In the cafeteria, April was in full lunchlady costume cheerily greeting the hungry fighters who lined up for their midday meals. Starry brought them drink refills and cleaned up the tables as they left. And in the kitchen, GAR Streeter Sanji was hard at work transforming the Syndicate's rations into a gourmet feast.
In the back, in much less glamorous roles, Cowboy was washing dishes and handing them to Spice to dry.
"I don't know why I have to be stuck in here washing dishes," Spice was grousing as Starry came back with a new batch of dirty plates. "I can kick as much ass as anybody else, so why won't they let me out there to fight?"
"Well there was that one time you turned into a psycho hosebeast and tried to kill a bunch of our own people," Cowboy pointed out. "Maybe they're afraid something will set you off again and you'll lose control."
"That was a long time ago," Spice pouted. "I even apologized to Cille, even though it wasn't even really my fault. But I feel like ever since then everyone has totally forgotten I'm even here. I need to vent my spleen and actually do something."
"Don't forget that what we're doing here is still important," Starry said, stacking up the clean dishes. "These guys can't fight without good food in their stomachs. And I think the best thing we can do is encourage them to do their best. Even a bright smile can make a big difference."
"Is this girl for real, or did she walk out of a motivational poster?" Spice whispered to Cowboy.
"I mean it," Starry said with a laugh. "You can see how their mood changes, they come in grouchy and tired and leave ready to get back to the fight. I've even heard some of them talking about the nice lunchlady and how inspired she made them feel."
"Lunchlady? You mean April?" Cowboy asked.
"Mm-hmm," Starry answered.
"I wonder how many of them know April's actually a guy," Spice chuckled.
Starry looked confused. "You mean... April's a..."
Spice and Cowboy exchanged looks.
"Well anyway, you couldn't pay me enough money to go out there," Cowboy continued. "Have you seen what some of these guys look like coming back in? If washing dishes and being a delivery boy keeps me from getting my ass shot off, I have noooo problem with it."
"Well that's fine for you because you're a wuss," Spice said. "I'm still mad about my spam factory getting shut down. I've been waiting a long time to get back at Ozzal."
"Hey, I don't like Ozzal either, but that doesn't mean I'm going to run out there and be suicidal. It might sound crazy, but I agree with Starry. If we can help win the war with moral support, we're still winners."
"Jebus, now you're both motivational posters," Spice sighed. "Well fine, if washing dishes is going to win us this war, then I'm gonna kick these dishes' asses."
"That's the spirit," Starry laughed.
"Oi! Somebody get me another case of canned tuna!" Sanji called from the kitchen.
"Ooh, I'll go," Spice volunteered immediately, suddenly forgetting about her dedication to the dishes.
"Have fun guys!" she called as she sprinted out of the room, leaving Cowboy and Starry to deal with the rest of the mess.
**********
Angel found Matrix sitting alone on the floor in a corner of the workshop surrounded by scattered papers, tools, and spare machine parts. He was holding his detached cyberwang in his hands, looking at it forlornly as if it were a small wounded animal that he wanted to save but wasn't sure how.
He looked up quickly when he heard her approaching, about to hide the metallic shaft and pretend like he was actually working, but when he saw who it was he just kind of resigned himself to the inevitable awkwardness and settled back into his gloom.
Angel eyed him silently as she gingerly eased herself onto a storage box and propped the crutch up next to her. Seeing him looking so sad, she almost felt sorry for him despite her ongoing irritation with him.
"Can you fix it?" she asked simply.
He shrugged morosely. "It's not totally busted, but..." He turned it over in his hands. "The connection internals are all ripped out and the wiring's all mangled and it would have to be entirely recalibrated and reprogrammed. That's not to mention the bent frame and the damage to the casing."
"Uh-huh," she said. She watched him scrutinizing the thing for another few moments.
"So... can you fix it?"
He looked up at her, not sure why she should need to ask a question he had just answered, but then he realized what she was getting at.
"Well, yeah, eventually, I could fix anything," he replied. "If I were in my lab, and if I had my proper tools, and if I had the time to devote to it. I could probably even make some improvements while I was at it."
"But you can't do that here?"
He shrugged again. "The tools here are pretty rudimentary, if you can even find them in all this junk. I might be a brilliant scientist, but that doesn't mean I want to risk Macgyvering my manhood. Besides, we kinda have more important things to worry about these days. As long as we've got smashed mechs and injured people coming in here every day, my poor little Minimatrix will have to wait."
It was a noble thought, even if he was still clearly having a pity party.
"Is that gonna be a problem?" she asked.
This time he looked at her like he was not sure if trolling or very stupid.
She rolled her eyes. "I mean can you even pee without it?"
"Oh, well..." he began, and seemed to be deciding how much he wanted to say. "The apparatus itself is designed for higher-level functions, like... y'know, sex and lasers and stuff. When I installed it I kinda had the, uh, waste elimination rerouted to... uh..." He sensed that he was making the conversation even more uncomfortable, if that were even possible. "...It's complicated."
Angel sighed dejectedly. "Everything with you is complicated."
Matrix couldn't really argue with that, so he just kind of silently nodded. But then as the silence stretched on, he felt like he needed to clear the air.
"Okay I know you're mad at me and all, but I feel like I need to say something," he said. "I didn't come here with delusions of getting you back or something. I wasn't even sure you would ever talk to me again. So if I'm causing problems with your personal life, it's not on purpose. I mean if you've made up your mind that Roy Mustang is the man of your dreams that I could never be, don't let me get in your way."
She was a little blindsided that he'd bring up their love triangle so boldly. She certainly wasn't ready to have a big heart-to-heart with him about her conflicted feelings and stuff.
"All right, well I'm glad you're not expecting anything to happen," she said curtly. "And trust me, if I wanted Roy Mustang that badly, you're the last person I'd let get in my way."
"Okay then. I hope you're happy together."
"If I decide that's what I want, I'm sure we will be."
"Good."
"I know."
As soon as the words had come out of their mouths, they both knew they were being childish. But it was too late to take them back.
He sighed and turned his attention back to his cyberjunk. "So is Lloyd looking for me again or what? I'm sure you didn't come in here to hash over our personal issues."
She sighed too, a little bitterly. "I don't even know. I just... thought I'd see how you were doing, I guess." He didn't answer, so she had a moment to think about it. "If you need a reason, I guess I should thank you for patching me up. I heard you were the one who did it."
"Well I know I wouldn't have been your first choice, but it was either me or bleed to death, so I hope you can forgive me."
She rolled her eyes. "Well I did make Kira check me out when I found out who it was that operated on me. Had to make sure you hadn't sewn on any tentacles, you know."
Matrix made a mock thoughtful face. "Now why didn't I think of that?"
"I know, you missed your only chance," Angel snarked.
"Well at least you had a professional to fix my butcher job. Did he disinfect my cooties while he was at it?"
Angel's demeanor changed, and she decided she was done with catty banter. "Actually, he said it looked good," she said pointedly. "He said it seemed like you were really careful about it. He said I'd probably be walking a day or two sooner because it was done so cleanly."
Matrix was a little taken aback by her bluntness. He was also relieved and a little proud that someone had noticed the care he had taken with Angel, but he obviously wasn't going to say so. "Just doing my job," he replied, trying to sound matter-of-fact. "Not like it was obviously the only way I'd ever get your pants off or anything."
She looked at him studiously pretending to be very interested in his mechanical toy to avoid looking at her, and despite all the tension in the room, she suddenly had to smile. It was just like him to say something stupid like that. It reminded her of how he could turn anything sexual just to crack her up - or turn her on.
But she wasn't going to let him get away with too much. She was still technically pissed at him.
"Yeah well, don't say I never did anything nice for you."
She picked up her crutch and did the best sashaying away she could manage. Matrix watched until she was out of sight.
"...Complicated..." he mumbled.
**********
When Clarice finished fighting with her new ground unit for the day, she immediately headed to Samson's room to see how he was doing. As expected, she found Anne there sitting by her brother's bed.
What she didn't expect to find was another bed - with Hikki in it.
"I'm sorry, he made me do it!" Roxie apologized, looking up from Samson's chart when Clarice walked in. It was like she had been preparing for Clarice's reaction all day.
"What is even going on here?" Clarice asked, looking at Hikki. He was sitting up in bed and looked significantly perkier than the last time she had seen him.
"Ees eet not wonderful?" he said cheerfully. "I can stay weez Chu while we bose recover!"
Clarice looked skeptically at Roxie, who put her hands up defensively.
"Hey, if you had to listen to him, you would have caved too. He was wailing about being at death's door until we moved him in here."
"Being at death's door is one thing, but what does that have to do with moving him in here with Samson?" Clarice asked.
"We have shared ze same near-deass experience," Hikki claimed. "I know what he ees goeeng srough! Who better to be by hees side as he recovers? ...While you are out doing ozzer seengs, of course," he added quickly upon seeing her disapproving look.
"It is true that we're running short on space here," Roxie admitted. "There are so many people getting injured."
"So why does he even need to stay in bed? He wasn't hurt that badly," Clarice said.
"My foot, I cannot walk," Hikki said innocently, pointing to the lump under the blanket that must have been his bandaged ankle.
Clarice looked at Roxie, who just shrugged.
"Well great, our leader is an invalid suffering from dramallamaitis," Clarice said. "How do you expect to run the Syndicate from here?"
Hikki picked up a walkie-talkie from his bedside table. "Eef Lucille needs me, we use zees," he said. "Everyseeng ees worked out."
Clarice sighed, knowing that objecting to this arrangement would be way more work than it was worth. "Fine, but your responsibilities come first. And if you do anything inappropriate in here while nobody's around, I will kill you."
"Pfff, what kind of pervert would fap over an unconscious quasi love interest?" Hikki scoffed.
Clarice looked at Anne, not sure she should be hearing this.
"I'll make sure he doesn't misbehave," Anne offered cheerfully. "It's already been nice having him to talk to."
Clarice sighed again. At least somebody (besides Hikki) was getting something out of this whole deal. She also noticed that Ein the dog had taken up residence on Anne's lap, and was enjoying getting petted by his new friend.
Clarice remembered her actual purpose in coming here. "How is he?" she asked, moving closer to Samson's bedside.
"Still holding steady," Roxie answered. "His vitals are still on the weak side but they're improving. Otherwise... not much else to report today."
"Okay, I guess that's not too bad," Clarice said. She couldn't really be relieved until Samson woke up, but it could be worse.
"How are seengs out zere?" Hikki asked, looking more somber.
"About the same as ever," Clarice said. "Except with fewer mechs and more bodies piling up. Fortunately most of them aren't ours."
"We are makeeng progress reducing zeir numbers?" Hikki asked hopefully.
"Well, we're certainly doing a number on them," Clarice answered. "You should have seen Mustang a little while ago, he was on some kind of bender taking out whole platoons with his flames. But they just keep coming at us."
Hikki looked dismayed but nodded resolutely. "Eet ees as we expected. We weel just have to keep comeeng at zem."
"Yeah..." Clarice agreed wearily. "Hey, I'd better get myself cleaned up and then see when Mustang wants to have the meeting tonight. I'll try to come back later and say goodnight."
"Okay, but try not to stay up too late," Anne said. "You and Hikki both need your rest."
Clarice smiled at Anne's motherliness and started toward the door. "I'll try not to wake the boys up if they're both asleep."
She looked at Hikki, who gave her an appreciative nod. She nodded back and took one more look around the room. In a way she felt like an outsider looking in on a cozy home scene, with friends growing closer and even a nice dog for company. But she couldn't linger while there was still so much work to do.
**********
The night air lay dark and heavy over the quiet battlefield, as if the forest were finally getting some respite after the day's clashes. Here and there small woodland animals were even coming out to inspect their changing environment.
The tranquility was abruptly broken by two large men crashing out of a cluster of trees. Well... one large man, and one large zombie robot pirate.
"I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU THIS WAS WHERE IT WAS!" Kazuma yelled. "AND YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME AND NOW WE MISSED IT AGAIN!"
"It be yer own fault fer bustin' up me compass all those months ago!" Yemman retorted. "I told ye it'd be harder to find anythin' without it!"
"Your stupid compass doesn't explain why we've been wandering around for months with absolutely nothing to show for it! We'd be in Babblstan by now if we hadn't seen that news report about this war! And did you have any idea how frickin' big the Enbeforlocke Woods are? How many days have we been trampling around this place?"
"If'n ye don't like it, ye can jes' go back ta yer cozy little house an' ferget about adventurin'," Yemman said sullenly. "I been listenin' ta yer prattle long enough, if'n all ye can do is piss 'n' moan then ye can jes' bugger off."
"Hey, you know I'm no quitter. But if I don't find something to punch soon I'm going to explode. And all we've seen in this stupid forest are scorch marks and a few corpses. I swear if we totally missed out on this entire war, then I'll..."
The drasticness within Kazuma's soul finally boiled over, and he SHOCKING FIRST BULLETED the nearest tree. The tree fell over, revealing the surprised faces of a group of Ozzal's soldiers. They had set up camp for the night near this grove of trees and had been rudely awakened by the squabbling crewmates.
Kazuma and Yemman looked with similar surprise at the soldiers, and then with raised eyebrows at each other.
"Erm... who goes tharrr?" Yemman asked the soldiers, reckoning that this was the proper first step.
He was answered by the sound of several guns being cocked. One gruff soldier's voice said, "Don't move, rebel filth!"
Yemman and Kazuma looked at each other again. "So if these guys aren't with the rebels..." Kazuma began.
"...Yarrrr, then they must be with..." Yemman continued.
Broad smiles grew on both their faces. All of their previous quarrels forgotten, they gleefully set about beating up every last one of the soldiers in the encampment.
Having accomplished this and finally sated at least some of their thirst for action, they slumped over back-to-back and fell sound asleep, and the forest was quiet once more.
Chapter 46 author's notes:
Recurring characters:
Elizabeth Saurie St. Gaurdsmen - EdSpikeSesshyGirl
Hikki Follet - Kohikki
Kaia Namek - namek_kaia
Michelle Ozzal - Mike Lazzo
Amy - Amalgam
Professor M. Matrix - matrixman124
Angel Sarcasta - mgangel1124
April - LirpaYamEnujYluj
Starry Ozzal - starryjelly
Cowboy - CowboyCadenza
Spice Spamton - spiceweasel228
*Lucille "Cille" Compton - Cille
Clarice Rowe - QueenoftheDorks
Samson Monroe - MasterSamson
Anne Monroe - herself
Hikki Follet - Kohikki
Roxanne "Roxie" Goldsmith - anime_goddess05
Captain Yemman - myname
Scheris Adjani - s-CRY-ed
Straight Cougar - s-CRY-ed
*Urizane - s-CRY-ed
Spike Spiegel - Cowboy Bebop
*Jeremiah Gottwald - Code Geass (the asshole in the giant robot)
*Dewey Novak - Eureka seveN
Makina - Deadman Wonderland
Rakshata Chawla - Code Geass
Roy Mustang - Fullmetal Alchemist
*Lloyd Asplund - Code Geass
*Izuru Kira - Bleach
Ein - Cowboy Bebop
Kazuma - s-CRY-ed
New characters:
Sanji - One Piece